As I was going into a hotel, I passed a woman on the sidewalk and heard her say into her phone, “So, she has an aneurysm in her stomach?”. Just looking outwardly at the young woman, I would not have guessed that she had someone in her life who was so sick.
I remember a specific incident when I had breast cancer at 30 and was going through chemo and radiation. As I was in the elevator headed for treatment, no one in the elevator with me would have guessed what was happening in my life. I didn’t lose my hair, would get dressed for treatment, put on makeup and a smile. There was no way for others to know how I was hurting inside. But I knew.
Brenè Brown said, “Empathy is communicating that incredibly healing message of, ‘You’re not alone.’ “
Consider people in the choir. Their hair and makeup just so. Smiles on their faces. I used to think they had it all together. It looked like it from the outside. But now I know differently. Everyone has something going on in their lives. They may not share it, and you may never know it, but that doesn’t make it any less true.
When you’re watching people (as I like to do), or interacting with someone who may appear distracted, anxious, or downright rude, look beyond their façade to see what’s really going on. Their hurt goes deeper than their reactions. Dictionary.com defines empathy as the “vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another”. Unless they’re continually toxic, try a little empathy. It can make a world of difference for both of you.
