How many times have we said that to siblings? Or heard it from our children? Or said that to our parents? Better yet…. have your parents said that to you? My Momma has.
Let’s be honest. We, at times, don’t like to think that anyone is the boss of us. Truth be told, we have many bosses – or people to whom we are accountable. I’ve had a boss or two at work that I wished were not the boss of me. Times when I may have felt underappreciated and undervalued –or thought they were headed down the wrong track. But hey, they were the boss of me, and it was my responsibility to follow their lead, as long as it was not immoral, illegal, or unethical. I’ve had direct reports who thought they were the boss of me. I’ve had to humorously remind them that “You can’t delegate up”. The first time I said that to one of my direct reports in front of my boss, my boss had to stop and lean over because he was laughing so hard. She was delegating up – or trying to.
Growing up, I had too much respect for my daddy to tell him he was not the boss of me. As I grew into adulthood and took on responsibility for my life, I did have to tell him that I was now responsible for my actions. Remembering how that felt, I’ve tried to give my kids leeway in their adult lives. I don’t ask a lot of questions, particularly about things that may not be my business. If they want to share, they will. I want to stay engaged with them and be the encouragement they need – not the judge. Am I always successful? Probably not. But it’s in the forefront in my mind as I interact with them.
I overheard co-workers at Starbuck’s and heard one of them say, “I will let you be the boss of me”. That’s the key. Choosing who is the boss of you. In choosing who is the boss of you, Rick Warren said, in The Purpose Drive Life, “You are free to choose, what you surrender to…..if not to God, you will surrender to the opinions or expectations of others.” Been there. Done that.
My life, and the life of my family, has been positively impacted by Cynthia Tobias, author of The Way They Learn. In another of her books, You Can’t Make Me (But I Can Be Persuaded), Cynthia talks about how children – and adults – have their own mind about what and how things should be done. Sound familiar?
Sometimes it’s a struggle to choose who the boss is. Determining who is the boss of you has a lot to do with trust. How can you defer to/submit/surrender to someone you do not trust? And to someone who you’re not sure if they have your best interest at heart? It’s pretty hard. At least it is for me. Jeremiah 17:7-8 says, “But blessed is the man who trusts me, God, the woman who sticks with God. They’re like trees replanted in Eden, putting down roots near the rivers – Never a worry through the hottest of summers, never dropping a leaf, Serene and calm through droughts, bearing fresh fruit every season”. God has shown me who He is. Through cancer. Through multiple surgeries with complications that I didn’t expect. Through life’s trials. Even when I’m not sure, He’s proven to me that He can be trusted.
